Oh, Bandit.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I could write a whole blog about Bandit. She's just so bizarre. We've recently been blessed with new Bandit behaviors that really should be shared. First, the carpet digging. I know Drew is in a furious rage just reading about this. Bandit, in the middle of the night - sometimes three or four times - goes CRAZY like she's digging IN THE CARPET. What IS this? She digs so fast and furiously. If it were dirt she would surely end up in some Chinese rice paddy. It's the loudest thing you've ever heard. I mean, it sounds like a tornado is heading straight for the house. Next, the closet sleeping. Bandit sleeps in my closet. Every place we've ever lived, she's slept in my closet. Sometimes the carpet digging and the closet sleeping coincide. We have to keep her properly groomed so I don't smell like a mangy Harnettian (pronounced "Har-nee-shin"). Speaking of, ever wondered what breed is bandit? She's a Harnettian of course. What's a Harnettian you may ask? Why its a stinky mutt dog found on the side of the road in front of a trailer park in Harnett County. Physical traits of a Harnettian include a tail that's not short but not long with an afro on the end, whiskers that protrude out in every direction all over the face (not just on the normal whisker area), blonde eyebrows and blonde "knee socks" and ears that appear to be placed too far back on the head and not in the normal ear place. Drew classified Bandit as pure-bred Harnettian when we asked more than one vet what kind of dog she was and they immediately took their veterinary diplomas off the wall and ran out the door in a sobbing fit. Actually, I've gotten these responses from various professionals, "mostly german shepherd," "mostly some kind of shepherd," "mostly lab", "lab/shepherd", "part doberman," "doberman/lab," "some rottweiler", "rottweiler/lab", "pointer mix," "lab mix," and my personal favorite, "Who knows!" So Bandit spent most of last week at the vet's office being boarded while we were at the beach. When I arrived, Dr. Schaller motioned me into her office (not her "vet office", mind you, but her nice carpeted and decorated "paperwork" office). Guess who was asleep on her own little bed on the floor tucked away next to Dr. Schaller's desk with her food and water bowl? She has become a mastermind. Everytime I go in I hear a hundred times, "We LOVE Bandit!" God bless 'em. The only complaint is her excessive flatulance, which is another trait of a Harnettian I forgot to mention. Dr. Schaller's office will never be the same - same as my closet. Bandit had to have surgery a few weeks ago for some tumors that the vet said did "not look good." We were certain that Bandit had some type of awful cancer and we were going to have a tough road ahead of us. Then I got the call, "Well...Bandit's tumors were actually benign." A thousand bucks later we learned of another Harnettian trait that sets them apart from other breeds - the spontanous growth of rare tumors that appear in all ways to be cancerous and malingnant, but actually are not. So, Bandit had to have a fair amount of muscle cut away when one of the malignantseemingyetbenign tumors were cut out and she got more attention than usual due to her slight limp and the fact that she had a giant lampshade on her head and kept walking into door frames and freezing until someone helped her rather than backing up and re-attempting to walk through the doorway. Once all the attention waned, Bandit began to demonstrate a slight limp. However, she got confused and limped on the wrong leg. Oh, Bandit.