The Giggle Video

Sunday Best

Joseph in his one Sunday School outfit. He's still a nudist. I bought him some summer clothes but he'll probably spend most of the summer in his diaper anyway. I've taken my mother's philosophy when it comes to clothes, which is demonstrated by the fact that I spent a lot of time between the ages of 2 and 4 in a Halloween costume, snow suit, or swim goggles despite the season.

A gift from Joseph that caused no blogging for two weeks.

Two weeks ago Joseph brought home his first gift from daycare in the form of a stomach bug that could kill a small horse. I had been sick for two weeks prior to even contracting the laying on the bathroom floor would rather be dead virus. Joseph had the same virus. However, it was only until it had run its course through me and Drew that we realized in retrospect that he had it. He threw up twice and didn't eat much for a few days. It affected him no more than that. Drew and I on the other hand each spent a few days wondering how much fluid one must lose and be unable to replenish before medical intervention would be wise. I mean it was awful. Poor Drew. I had never seen anyone such an unsettling shade of white. He hadn't thrown up since the sixth grade. Which was, incidentally, the last time he missed school/work for being sick. (I thought twice about even writing that as you will probably now never believe a word I say...however, it's true and has been independently corroborated). We're all better now, but it took a week to kind of regroup, get back into the swing of things, and finish things up at work we felt too crappy to do. I'm just now with a minute to sit and download pictures to post. Otherwise things have been quiet. The boy is in a growth spurt and eating like a little piglet. We can hardly stay on top of it. This morning was the first experience with sweet potatoes. He enjoyed them so much that he literally cackled between bites. He's almost sitting up on his own. From time to time I think how could I possibly love this little boy more than I do right now, and then I do.

If you come to my office or call my phone, I'm billing time.

I love my job. Most days I really do. I am King (err, Queen) of my little 12 by 14 square foot dominion. I can tell just about anyone to shove off. I do things my way, within the bounds of ethics, professionalism, and rules of court of course (disclaimer, check.). Being self employed makes one thing clear - you can never go back. You become utterly psychologically incapable for the rest of eternity of saying, "X is my boss." That being said, like everything else, there are drawbacks. First, inclement weather sucks. Inability to get to the office/courthouse means money down the drain. Same idea applies with being sick (as if being sick isn't bad enough). Then there is the obvious recurrent "I hope I can pay myself this month, damn this recession" haunting my dreams. But the worst thing. . . PEOPLE - STOP TRYING TO STEAL FROM ME. Would you go to K'mart, select a quality garment from the rack and then walk out with it? (I just realized what I implied..."Anna's legal services are to a garment from K-Mart as Attorney X's legal services are to a garment from [insert nice store]). My legal services are excellent thankyouverymuch, K-mart was just the first store I thought of living in Lee County and all). I digress. Here's what happens ALL.DAY.LONG. Person calls and explains in great detail the problem they are having with husband/wife/girlfriend/babydaddy. At the end of this LOOOONG, sometimes incoherent, story, almost always comes the question, "Do ya'll charge a consultation fee?" Uhm. Yeah. "Okay, thank you." Click. What people don't get is that my time is my merchandise. Well, that, and a (very expensive) bank of knowledge. I don't have anything else for you, folks. I sell you my time. If I could sell you paper clips and white-out out of my desk, in these times I probably would. I send a bill, which includes time spend discussing with client his or her case over the phone. They don't understand why I would dare charge them for a simple phone call. How do you think I earn a living? I mean, where would we be if we talked to people all day and didn't bill for it? Would you like some Post-Its today with your paper clips and White-Out, Sir? OH...WAIT. Amber was just reading this over my shoulder and reminded me of perhaps the most irritating thing. People actually try to haggle with us over our fees. For example, person asks how much our fee is for a certain legal service. We tell them, say 300 dollars. They say, "Attorney X does it for 200"). Go to Attorney X then. Dern. Why are you here. There waiting for you to say, "Oh, well we'll do it for 175). Sike. I've never fallen for that trick. My response is always, "I'm sorry. We don't negotiate fees" when I'm really thinking, "This ain't no yard sale."

A group of clever, musically talented attorneys put together this song entitled "The Billing Song", sung to the tune of Cindy Lauper's Time After Time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TkuZ5oI9uY

Wow.

This might be the funniest thing I have ever seen. Let me rephrase. This is THE funniest thing I have ever seen, ever. This dog makes OMH (Old Mother Hubbard is our dog, Bandit, for the newbies) look like a Rhoades Scholar.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2BgjH_CtIA

Temporarily Insane

Sunday night, Drew and I were laying in bed, exhausted as usual. Typical - except the following conversation took place. It began by my ordinary statement that I hoped we didn't get an ice storm that would knock out the power and cause me to have to cook all of the meat in our freezer, perhaps a couple hundred pounds worth.

Anna: I think next time we get a meat shipment we should date it so that it doesn't sit in the back of the freezer for, like, two years and get all freezer burned.
Drew: You mean like take it to the movies?
Anna: Yes. We should take all of our frozen meat, load it into big black garbage bags, pack it with ice and take it to the movies.
Drew: We should use our wheelbarrow.
Anna: Yeah.
Drew: What movie should we take our meat to?
Anna: I don't know.
Drew: Nothing with a cook out.
Anna: Yeah. The meat wouldn't like those movies.
Drew: How about the second Star Wars were Hans Solo is frozen and he comes back ok?
Anna: That would be a good one. Or Austin Powers for the same reason.
Drew: Or March of the Penguins. It would remind the meat of our freezer.
Anna: Maybe Ice Age, then. If you think that's what the meat would like.
Drew: Perfect. I bet it would be really expensive to buy movie tickets for all that meat.
Anna: Yeah, that big turkey would probably need its own seat.


I know just reading that made you wonder if you've mistakenly ingested some funny looking mushrooms. I'm sick today. I feel like a four letter word. I had a stomach bug all weekend topped off with a sinus infection, topped off with having to work all weekend. Well, I didn't work much Saturday because I couldn't get off the chair. Sunday I made up for it. I shouldnt' be working now, but I have this problem where I can't stop. The stomach thing is gone and now the sinus infection wants its time to shine.