We get a lot of questions about Foster's fabulous pacemaker. To sum it up: There is a large bulge in her abdomen that looks like a pocket watch. It's surprisingly hard to the touch. That is the actual pacemaker. It is connected by "leads" to her heart. Those leads are sewn onto the heart and the pacemaker controls the rate at which her heart beats. Right now it is set to 9O beats per minute. She will have her pacemaker her whole life. It will be replaced between ages three and five. But its outpatient surgery. Thereafter, it will need to be periodically replaced. We have a machine that we plug into our phone line. We put a thingie that looks like a computer mouse over her pacemaker, push a button on the machine, and it sends the pacemaker's data to Duke. The pacemaker people read the data and make sure its working ok. We do this three times per year. A couple of times per year we will visit Dr. Kanter, the electrophysiologist at Duke. He will decide if her heart needs to be "turned up" or whether other adjustments need to me made. They can adjust the settings on her pacemaker by pushing some buttons. It's amazing. Foster's pacemaker allows her to live normally. You would never know she has it. She can do anything and everything a normal child would. She can't have an MRI. She will have to be "pat down" at the airport. [Woo hoo...Free massage!] But that's about it as far as her limitations. It doesn't bother her a bit.
But, to be honest, the size and feel of it is unnerving. It's a large, very hard bulge in the tummy of a tiny baby. While changing her diapers I was finding myself trying to avoid it, not look at it or touch it too much. And then it occurred to me that I need to touch it, love it, embrace it and thank God for it. It's part of her and her amazing story. I will not ever fear it or be made to feel uncomfortable by it.
And, Foster, you are never allowed to fear your pacemaker. Or be ashamed of it. Instead, tell your story. Tell whoever will listen. Stand on the rooftop and tell them that you live because of the grace, love and power of an awesome God. Your pacemaker is part of your story. Show them your scar. Be proud of it. We pray that your testimony will change someone. Most certainly, sweet baby girl, you have changed us.
